


Boners in the Rain

by ikkiM



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 08:30:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikkiM/pseuds/ikkiM
Summary: A tree falls and the wood rises.





	Boners in the Rain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TeamGwenee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/gifts).



> I was going to call this "The Sentinel" but "Boners in the Rain" was just funnier.
> 
> This is for [TeamGwenee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/) who is all things awesome.

This was a dream... and a nightmare. Jaime had wanted Brienne Tarth, his tall, ugly, scowly, blue-eyed nextdoor neighbor, in his home for the night, but not like this. Most of his dreams involved a bottle of wine, some low music, his plush couch, and time spent staring into her gorgeous eyes. At least his dreams started that way. They usually ended with her long legs wrapped around his waist.

Not that he’d had those sorts of thoughts about her when they’d first met. Absolutely _not_. He’d been thrilled when Catelyn Stark, a widow of eight years, had finally sold her two-story home and moved to Riverlands Condominiums with her youngest, and most feral, child, Rickon. In the ten years that Jaime had lived next door to them in the historic Red Keep section of town, he and the Starks had never been friends.

It wasn’t just that the Stark children seemed to be a horde of invading Dothraki, slamming doors, and always shouting at one another. Jaime had moved to Red Keep not just because he loved the historic homes, such a contrast from his old condominium in the modern White Sword Tower, but because he wanted peace and quiet. He wanted to sit on his back deck, drinking a Scotch and staring at the stars in peace.

Only the Starks weren’t quiet. Well, things had been quiet when Ned had passed, at least for a while.

Jaime had felt sorry for Catelyn then, not that she had wanted his sympathy. Catelyn had always hated the Lannisters based on some feud between Jaime’s father’s company and Catelyn’s first boyfriend, Ned’s brother. Jaime had preferred not to know the details. He’d paid for Catelyn’s lawn service that first year after Ned had died. Not that she’d noticed or cared. By the end of that summer, the Stark house had grown louder than ever.

As each of the children moved away, the house had finally become more and more quiet. Still, he wasn’t able to enjoy the stars from his back deck because if _it_. The sentinel tree.

If only the Starks had cut down the old, gnarled eyesore that littered Jaime’s back yard with twigs and annoying sharp needles. The fate of that tree had been an ongoing feud between neighbors. Ned had told Jaime that the tree had some special meaning for their family. Their eldest son Robb had carved his initials into it, the prissy daughter Sansa had her prom pictures taken in front of it, Bran used to climb it, Arya had built a treehouse, and who knows what Rickon’s dog had buried at the base of it.

Once Catelyn left, Jaime had hoped that his new neighbor, Brienne Tarth, would cut it down.

When she’d moved in, Jaime had gone over to introduce himself and broach the subject. Somehow the discussion had turned into an argument, with her stating she’d sworn an oath not to cut down the sentinel and him saying the only thing uglier than that tree was Brienne herself.

The following eighteen months had been cold war. He’d gathered up all of the stray twigs from his backyard and dumped them on her driveway. She’d installed multiple bird feeders in the tree, turning it into an apartment complex for loud, cawing ravens. Jaime had retaliated by spending a few midnight hours tossing rolls of toilet paper into the thing, and then a few hours the next afternoon sitting on his deck watching her as she tried to use the spray nozzle on her hose to disintegrate the rolls. He might, _might_ , have laughed a few times. Not more than was appropriate. Maybe a little more than was appropriate, but seeing a giantess bested by toilet paper was more than amusing.

It was only two days later, while fending off Drowned God Witnesses that she’d sent to his home, that Jaime realized this Brienne Tarth was sneakier than he’d thought.

The purpose of the telescope he’d installed in his office that pointed directly into Brienne’s living room wasn’t just to make her _feel_ spied on, but to _actually_ spy on her so he wouldn’t be caught unawares again.

It was on his second night of watching her that she noticed. She’d been sitting on her couch reading what looked to be a medieval romance novel, when she’d caught sight of him. Her face had flushed bright red and she’d stomped over to her window, pulling the sheer curtains closed. He could still watch her, but it was like looking through water. The next day, she’d installed Braavosi blinds, shutting him out completely.

He’d just moved the telescope upstairs to the guest bedroom where he had a better than acceptable view of her bedroom. That is when the real trouble began. The first night he’d seen her getting ready for bed, shimmying out of her pants and walking around in just her t-shirt and underwear, had been a revelation. _To his cock._

Jaime suddenly began to see her in a whole new light. Instead of trying to race her on his morning jog through the park, he’d taken to falling behind so he could admire her long legs and watch the cheeks of her apparently rock hard ass flex beneath her running shorts.

When she’d stomped up on his porch with the pizza delivery guy to yell at Jaime for giving the wrong address to Dontos Pizza _again_ , he’d been so taken with the flash and fury in her eyes that he’d tipped the guy an extra twenty dragons. Jaime’s invitation for Brienne to join him had resulted in more spluttery shouting and not the romantic evening he’d started to envision.

He’d tried to get himself invited over for dinner, saying he’d laid out steaks but his grill was out of gas. Instead of suggesting he cook them on hers and they eat together, she’d hauled a spare propane tank over to his deck and installed it. The flex of her back and shoulder muscles had been impressive. So impressive, in fact, that Jaime was glad he was wearing a pair of baggy shorts.

No matter what Jaime did, from offering her tulip bulbs to taking his niece over to sell her Bear Scout cookies, Brienne didn’t soften. Nothing seemed to convince her that he wasn’t just the tree-hating neighborhood jackass.

Yet it was that very tree that had finally gotten her into his home. Jaime had tried to tell her it was in bad shape, having not been topped, or even trimmed, since before Ned’s passing. It wasn’t just ugly and annoying; it was dangerous. But Brienne had insisted the tree was _just fine_.

It wasn’t fine. The remnants of Hurricane Olenna had made their way inland, bringing massive storms. It wasn’t the lightning but the wind that had finally felled the old sentinel tree, sending it crashing through the very center of Brienne’s house.

Jaime hadn’t seen the tree fall. He’d been on his way upstairs to bed, but he’d heard it, a sound like the roaring of a dragon. It was likely foolish to rush outside in the middle of a storm, but _Brienne_. By the time he’d reached her front porch, she was heading out the door, phone in hand, calling for emergency help.

He shook in relief to see her safe, forcibly yanking her away from the shambles of her own house and into the safety of his own.

And now she stood in his foyer, barefoot and drenched in her white nightgown. The material clung to her like a second skin, a _see-through_ second skin. He could see her pert little breasts, nipples stiff and pink, poking out at him. Surprisingly, she was wearing bright blue panties, with what looked to be pattern of small yellow crescent moons. Jaime tried not to think about what her adorable underwear was hiding. He was having enough trouble controlling his erection as it was.

Brienne was standing, shivering, while on the phone, trying to explain the situation to a dispatcher. Now was certainly not the time to be thinking about her naked.

“No, I am not in the house. I am in my neighbor’s house,” she ground out. “The tree didn’t fall on his house. It fell on mine.” She paused and her eyes widened in alarm. “I don’t know if it took out any power lines.”

Jaime reached over to the wall switch, flicking his own lights on and off. Brienne nodded at him in relief. “My neighbor has power. So I think it’s fine.”

She paused again, listening. “No, as I explained, I am safe right now at my neighbor’s. It’s my house that is at risk. No, there isn’t a fire.”

She gripped the phone and growled, “What?”

Jaime could hear the dispatcher speaking in soothing tones.

“Not until tomorrow?” Brienne near screeched, reaching up to run a hand through her soaked hair, causing the material of her nightie to shift on her chest, and if possible, cling even tighter. Jaime groaned.

Brienne’s eyes flicked to him in what appeared to be apology and dismay. She rolled her neck as if working out a kink. “I understand that in times of crisis, emergency resources go to those in immediate danger first. I _will_ call back if the situation escalates.”

A few more soothing sounds came from her phone before Brienne bit off, “Yes, I will call my insurance agent in the morning and put up signs telling the neighbors that climbing on the giant sentinel tree which has fallen through my _house_ might be risky.” She clicked off the phone with a huff before turning to him. “I am so sorry.”

Jaime nodded, forcing himself to look at her eyes and not her chest.

A blush ran up her neck, spreading over her cheeks and into her hairline. “You warned me that tree was a hazard and I didn’t listen. I should have had it cut down, or at least trimmed it back.”

Jaime felt a ridiculous urge to comfort her. “You were just keeping your promise to the former owners. No harm in that,” he said, waving his hand dismissively.

Brienne’s brow crinkled. “That tree just destroyed my house. I think that’s some definite harm.”

Jaime was at a loss to respond. He stared into her captivating blue eyes, feeling himself drawn in, wondering what her lips would feel like pressed against his, as his dick began straining against his jeans. He coughed. “Oh, erm, well…”

“They can’t get emergency services out until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest,” she said, and wrapped her arms around herself, beginning to shiver in earnest.

Jaime turned away from her and opened the hall closet, pulling out a spare blanket. For a moment, he considered tying it around his own waist to hide what was happening in his pants, but decided she was more in need. He held the blanket out and she took it from him eagerly.

She pulled it around her shoulders, leaving it hanging open in the front. “I should check into a hotel.”

Jaime drew back, “And pay for it with what? I’m pretty sure you don’t have a credit card hidden under there, or your keys, or your license.” His gaze involuntarily went to her chest again, then down her stomach to see the muscle definition in her abs and had just about reached her panties when the blanket whooshed around, covering her. He snapped his eyes back up to her face, all red and scowling.

“There’s no need to mock me,” she hissed.

Jaime looked up as another round of thunder cracked overhead, wondering why he was always so misunderstood. He brought his eyes back to hers. “I wasn’t mocking you. You barely got out of your house alive. I’m surprised you had time to even grab your phone.” He looked at her again. She looked like a drowned aurochs. Her hair was stuck to her head. Her skin alternated between near blue with cold and red hot from blushing. He was surprised she hadn’t gone into shock. “Wait here.”

He ran upstairs, took a couple of calming breaths, surprisingly shaken at the thought that Brienne could have been crushed under that damnable sentinel. As he reached into the closet for a stack of towels, his hand shook. No, she wouldn’t have been hurt. She was too stubborn and hardheaded to be downed by a tree. He took another deep breath and collected himself. Shoving the towels under one arm, he opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of sweats, a tee shirt and a pair of warm socks. Having survived her house being crushed, Brienne wasn’t allowed to catch a cold. At least not on his watch.

She was still in the foyer, furiously texting when he got back downstairs. She looked up at him. “I was letting the other neighbors know I’m fine. The Freys have said I can stay with them.” She reached for a towel.

Jaime grabbed the phone from her hand, and placed the remaining towels and clothes on the hall table. “The Freys already sleep three to a bed. Who do they expect you to share with? Old Walder?”

Still furiously drying her hair, she let out a garbled, “Walda and Roslin are very nice,” before one blue eye peeked out at him. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

Jaime snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can stay here. I have a spare bedroom. Or three. Now hustle yourself into that bathroom and get out of those wet clothes.” He pointed the way, taking the soaked towel and blanket from her to sop up the mess, realizing only then that he was almost as wet as she was from his dash outside. “I’m going upstairs to change. Head to the living room when you’re done.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, likely ready to tell him not to order her about. He tilted his head and added, “Please.”

With that, she seemed to see reason and stomped into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly.

Jaime made a second trip upstairs. Once in his bedroom, he forced himself not to think about Brienne, naked, downstairs in his bathroom. Her pale flesh likely clammy, asking to be warmed by his hands. _No_. He stopped that train of thought.

He pulled off his own clothes, hanging them on the bathroom racks, then grabbed a pair of fresh boxer briefs and slid them on, telling his cock this was not time to play. He dressed in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tee shirt, pulling on some warm socks and definitely not thinking that Brienne would probably be going commando in his sweatpants.

Jaime padded back down the stairs and into the living room. Brienne wasn’t there. He headed back to the hallway. The bathroom door was open, the towels and her nightgown hung neatly on the towel bars. He called out for her. “Brienne?”

“I’m in here,” she responded, her voice soft.

He walked into the office. She stood at the window, rain lashing against the pane, staring at the ruin that had been her house.

“Hey,” he said.

She turned to him, her blue eyes luminous. He came to stand beside her, viewing the destruction. The sentinel had cracked at its base, falling into the house, through the roof, splitting the entire second floor and likely half of the first.

She made a small sound beside him, likely a stifled sob. Instinctively his hand went to the small of her back. Then she let out a true sob, and he pulled her into his arms. Somehow, despite her height, she fit perfectly. Brienne curled her hands into fists against his chest and let the tears take over.

Brienne didn’t cry like pretty girls did. She was nearly wailing into his shoulder, her breathing coming in choked gasps, her tears soaking his fresh shirt. He rubbed her back soothingly. What was the thing to say to someone who had just lost their home? “Hey, it’ll be okay, it’ll be alright,” he murmured into her hair. “It didn’t take out the garage. You’ve still got your car,” he said, hoping to at least make her smile.

She looked up at him, eyes swollen and red, cheeks blotchy, and what was likely a bit of a snot escaping out her left nostril. “I can’t live in a Farring Fusion!” She tried to pull away, but he held her tight.

“Of course not. You can stay here with me.”

She pulled her torso back, causing her hips and thighs to press him into him, stirring his cock once again. “I can stay here tonight, but I’ll have to find somewhere to live.”

He locked his fingers at the small of her back, to keep her close and to keep them from wandering lower. “I mean it. You can stay here, with me. It’s going to take months for them to repair all the damage. You’ll want to supervise the work. Make sure they aren’t using shoddy materials, slacking on the job. If you’re staying here, you can keep a constant eye on them.”

She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Are you sure? You don’t even like me.”

Silly woman, she hadn’t even noticed how he’d held her, continued to hold her. “I wouldn’t say that,” he responded vaguely, unsure of how to explain exactly how much he did like her. He certainly wasn’t going to let her stay with any of the other neighbors or in whatever fleabag motel her insurance company would cover. He’d simply have to learn to keep his libido under control.

Then she said it, the one sentence that his cock could not ignore.

“I don’t have any clothes.”

A thousand images of her naked filled his brain. Brienne naked in his kitchen. Brienne naked on his couch. Brienne naked in the laundry room. Brienne naked in his bed room. _Brienne naked in his bed_. With that, his dick sprang fully, and achingly to attention, pressing insistently into her thigh.

Jaime knew the very moment she realized his condition. Her eyes widened. Her succulent lips tightened. The shock faded and just for a moment, she looked at him with pure, unadulterated lust. Before she could pull back, or reconsider, or misunderstand him yet again, he launched his face towards hers, kissing her awkwardly. Their teeth clashed as her lips parted, likely in shock. It was too late to turn back now, and Jaime took the opening and slid his tongue against hers.

She gasped into his mouth, went still for a moment and then her hands seemed to be everywhere: on the back of his neck, under his shirt, at the waistband of his pants. Jaime considered pulling back, giving her a moment to reconsider一 her house had just been demolished, after all一 but his better self could not prevail. Or at least not when she was kissing him like her life depended on it.

Jaime turned them to push her back onto his desk. They worked together to get his right arm out of his shirt and her left leg out of the sweatpants. She _was_ going commando. He groaned as he felt her hands roaming over his chest and back, then lower, shoving down his pants and boxers. She was gripping him, guiding him and he just couldn’t hold back.

In one quick thrust he was inside her and, gods almighty, it was all of the seven heavens. She screamed into his mouth, but there was no way he could stop kissing her, not now, even as her fingers dug painfully into his shoulders. She was writhing beneath him; he pulled back, sliding out of her, and she whined. He thrust back in, and like a green boy on his first time, exploded messily inside her. _Fuck._

Beneath him, Brienne’s hips were still grinding against his, not yet satisfied. He reached his hand down between them and stroked her with his thumb and forefinger. Jaime pulled his mouth away from hers, wanting to watch her. She thrashed her head back and forth. He rubbed faster and then she was screaming and clenching around him. Gods, the feel of her was amazing.

He pulled his hand free and slumped into her, his mouth right at her neck. He placed little kisses there, loving the salty taste of her sweat. He felt her legs drop from his waist and her breathing slow. After a moment, she tapped at his shoulder. He lifted his head and looked into her still-blotchy face and smiled.

“Yes?” he asked.

She grimaced and blushed, looking away from him. “I think I’m lying on a binder clip.”

Jaime lifted himself from her immediately, stepped back, careful not to trip over the pajamas pooled at his feet, and pulled her up into a sitting position. He twisted her shoulders and inspected her back. She’d had at least one binder clip and a couple of pens beneath her. Nothing had broken the skin, but it certainly couldn’t haven’t been comfortable. “Hmmm,” he said, “looks like I’m going to have to kiss that all better.”

Brienne readjusted her shirt, covering herself, but was prevented from pulling up her pants by Jaime, standing between her parted legs. “Oh well, I mean, you don’t have to一 I just, with the house一 not like me at all一 didn’t mean to一 uhm... take advantage of you?” she said, ending with a questioning tone and a fierce blush.

Jaime felt himself stir. _What was it about this woman?_ He put one hand under her chin, tilting her face up and pressing his lips to hers. He drew back. “I’m pretty certain I took advantage of you,” he said with a grin and a waggle of his brows. “I dragged you through the rain, back to my house, talked you out of your clothes and into mine before ravishing you on my desk, which I’ve been dreaming about doing for months.”

Her eyes locked on his. “Really?”

He was so entranced by the blue, the openness, and the want in her expression that he knew he had to have her again, and soon. He stepped back from the desk far enough for her to see and then looked down at his cock, which was already straining to get back to her.

She reached out, running two fingers along his slick hard length. He almost came from the very sight of her hand near his cock.

He stomped his feet to free them from his pants, then reached down to yank the sweatpants off Brienne before pulling her off the desk. He turned her around and pushed her gently back to the hallway. “You. Upstairs. My bed. Now.”

Brienne looked over her shoulder at him. “You’re bossy.”

He tapped her right buttock. It was rock hard. “Get used to it.”

“I think not,” she snorted, but marched into the hallway. He made a lunge for her and she dodged him at the staircase, heading upstairs taking three steps at a time.

“Second door on the left,” he bellowed. “Get naked.”

His tee shirt came flying down the stairs. He grinned. He’d bet anything that by the time he got upstairs, she’d be completely wrapped up in his blankets with only her eyes peeking out, and she’d be blushing to the roots of her hair. She was such a mix of bashful and bold.

He turned to look back out the office window. The rain had finally stopped. In the first pale light of dawn, he looked at her house and the tree that had destroyed it. He’d build her a new house, one that suited both of them. And they’d plant a new tree, not a big ugly sentinel this time, but something more suited to Brienne. Something strong and beautiful, that would bend but not break.  _A goldenheart_.

His cock interrupted his romantic musings to remind him the woman of his dreams was in his bed, likely naked and waiting for him. Jaime toed off his socks and stripped off his shirt. With his cock pointing the way, he headed upstairs to find her.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thinks to Quinn and hardlyfatal for the love, support, and beta. You ladies rock.


End file.
